Australia

With cheap flights and proximity in my favor, I decided to give the land down under a try!  I admit I've long viewed Australia as a drunk America, but best visit to see if I'm right!

I centered my time mostly with Kate, Scott, and their 2 children in Australia's government seat: Canberra!  We saw some of Australia's crazy animals including platypus, koala, and my favorite by leaps and hops, the kangaroo, commonly known amongst Australian toddlers as 'roos!  This animal is crazy, with little t-rex arms and huge hinged legs...honestly sometimes evolution is just goofing around. They also treated me to a weekend canyoning the blue mountains, which are deep sandstone slot canyons full of narrows, slides, pools, and...swim-throughs of caverns filled with glow worms--magic! 

Additionally, I spent oodles of time reading children's books, one series of which hit close to my southeast Asian journey home with the illegal pet trade: it features a monkey swiped from his jungle home by a man with a yellow hat. Despicable that we read this to children!  I found hanging with kiddos to be a huge learning experience and loved every minute...that didn't involve two simultaneously-screaming children. :P

I did some other Australian things including drink beer, get addicted to flat whites (it's a cross between a latte and a cappuccino), eat jaffles, watch ' game of thrones' downloaded via torrent, say 'crickey' (ok not really), and lather on some SPF 50 to protect myself from the ozone hole!

I spent some time in Sydney as well, taking photos of the opera house over a myriad of lighting conditions and angles.  Bridget, a friend from high school, let me crash at her pad (sweet!) and took me on a walking tour of the old town, markets, and historic bars.  As it was raining a bit, we decided to see the Sydney contemporary art museum, which features an exhibit that lulls you into bliss as you lie on the floor under a two-story screen featuring waves, leaves, and other nature-y things like turtles...er, no wait that's a penis.

So, how did Australia measure up? Is it a drunk America?   Well, they do have a national holiday, Anzack day, which appears to exist solely for playing a heads-tails drinking game, so perhaps.

Being that it many ways the landscape and culture are similar to the states (and yes this would include treatment of indigenous peoples, as Aborigines and Native Americans have been contrasted often during my travels), I thought I'd indicate some of the differences that struck me. I'll start with the birds. When I first saw cockatoos and laurakeets I was convinced everyone was releasing their exotic pets into the wild, but turns out the wild birds here are splendid! Second, Canberra and Sydney might be some of the cleanest cities I've ever encountered, and without the pervasiveness of guns as we have in the states, felt safer to me.  Third, apparently minimum wage in Australia is something like 20 dollars/hour, which means food and drink are much more expensive than in the US, where the server and the fruit picker are both well underpaid.  Of course, being paid a living wage is good, but prices in Australia create almost a closed system ($20 for a 6-pack of microbrew!) where it's difficult to spend when you don't make money locally.  Fourth, they don't seem to pronounce r's in Australia.  And, finally, you will know you are in Australia and not the US when you are being offered toast with...vegemite!

All in all, visiting friends in the land down under was great, and I vote that Australia is different enough to not simply be a drunk America!

The beach of my dreams

I decided to wrap up my Indochina journey at Thailand's world-renowned beaches, and I can confirm these are the beaches people dream about: beaches with soft white sands and shades of green and blue that could convince even the most pessimistic skeptic that world peace is attainable. 

Ton Sai beach, near Railey and known for world-class climbing, is where I spent the better part of a week climbing, deep water soloing, slack-lining over the softest sands, and meeting some great people.   If they sold an "I left my heart in Ton Sai" t-shirt, I would own it, for in just 5 days I fell in love.  Ton Sai is surely where backpacker-climbers go when they die.

How to pick a bungalow in southeast Asia

Ah, the bungalow: rudimentary, nature-y, bamboo, scarcely secure...Backpackers in Southeast Asia will encounter this accommodation at some point, and, as not all bungalows are created equal, it helps to know what to look for when choosing your humble digs!

Let's go over the basics.  First and foremost, it's important to note that no bungalow in Southeast Asia was ever built to "code", so if you think your potential abode might fall over in a gust of wind, you might be right!  Second, bungalows are anything but soundproof, so confirm if generators are located nearby, whether your neighbors are multi-orgasm honeymooners, etc etc.  Third, bungalows are the opposite of fire resistant, so if you notice some aspiring fire dancers near your bungalow, you might want to choose a different town altogether.

Now to some finer points.   Bungalows will likely have a bed, windows, door (confirm it closes, as humidity warps wood...), and perhaps a bathroom.  Make sure you have a nice net and a fan in the bungalow, and ask what hours the power is on: When the generator goes off at 3am, your fan stops, and it's still 35C, you'll wish you'd inquired!

Bungalow security is a top concern.  When inspecting bungalows, be sure you can secure yourself inside at night and your stuff inside during the day.  Of course, staying at a place which offers a safe box is ideal, as I never saw a bungalow you couldn't break into with a screwdriver (door lock), a knife (bamboo walls), or a monkey (hole in the floor).  

A few other notes you might not consider:  If a bungalow is under trees, and especially if those trees bear fruit in monkey country, make sure the roof can take a beating, as monkeys have throwing arms and apparently hate bungalow roofs!  Also, you can see the sun through a bungalow's walls.  Thus, don't be surprised when you find the largest cockroach you've ever seen and decide it's best to treat it like a chihuahua you are begrudgingly pet-sitting rather than attempt to eliminate said creature.  

Once all things are considered and you've chosen your bungalow, take a cold shower, hang up your damp swimsuit, and marvel that for less than $10 you have your very own bungalow mere feet from ocean/river, and life ain't so bad.

Watch out batgirl, there's a stalagtite!

Recommended by more than one cool person, Cave Lodge sits adjacent to Tham Lod cave in northwest Thailand.  The place feels like a treehouse, complete with gibbon, bird, cow bell, and geck-O sounds, and is run by an Australian caver who has lived 20 years in the area.

I quickly made friends with Hendrick from Switzerland, and Hillary and Gonzalo, and we set out with maps and torches to find some caves.  Cave finding, by the way, isn't that easy. Even with a map it took us a while, as caves might be hidden by bushes or topography so you don't see them until quite close.  Still, we managed adventurous times, first in a cave where the local woman whose land it was on served us numerous snacks and offered us pillows for a midday nap.  We declined, however, as we are hardcore cavers! Next, we located a cave clearly used by the local monks for meditation: we found small Buddha statutes throughout the cave. Milarepa, get ready!

The next day Hendrick and I went on a guided tour of three caves, including one where you crawl through water to the top of a subterranean waterfall!  Vietnam might have the world's largest cave, but Thailand has the cave-iest guided tour of one. 

Back at the lodge we befriended an American couple in their 50s, whom we motoed with to local villages of the Lahu, Shan, and Karen tribes, mostly finding the villages sleepy as likely the locals were napping off the good ole post-noon doldrums!  We found some local fare just as my blood sugar ran low and Hendrick proclaimed "monster Kimberly" was showing.  Some girls playing with newborn puppies were our next stop, and the giggling children found both the puppies and the westerners irresistibly funny.  Taking a peek at Burma and checking out the nightly scene at the dam rounded out the day.

You'd think 3 days of adventure warrants rest, but not so apparently, and Hendrick and I set off on day 4 with our maps and lights to find another cave.  Long story short, we aren't the best at following directions, and after 3 hours in the hot sun were just happy we located the blasted moto.  Meh, it's hot and you can't win em' all, let's go for papaya salad and call it a day!

The darling towns of northern Thailand

I looked out the minibus window to see Nissan dealerships, a Shell station, and a big box retailer, and concluded I'd left Laos and entered the US.  The two towns I visited next, Chaing Mai and Pai, did little to change that impression, as both had every modern convenience, a similar look to US house architecture, and both knew how to offer a perfect coffee shop experience.

My travel pal Erica is my friend Val's sister whose travel dates matched my own.  In chaing mai we visited Wat Phra That Doi Suthep on a hill above the city, which is THE WAT to visit! The wat had beautiful buddhas, paintings, bells, whistles (surely), and...monk garden gnomes! Souvenir for mom: check.

We also partook of touristy fun, including mountain biking and a cooking class, and visited the Saturday night market, complete with Thai silks, street foods, and numerous etsy-esque things. With no-pressure sellers and street music, this might be the most lovely shopping experience in all of Asia.

Next we headed to Pai, which I'd describe as the high hippie vibe of Santa Cruz meets the quaint streets of Carmel.  Pai was nice and comfortable, but it's a place made for tourists, thus not interesting culturally, unless you are interested in tourists.

We did the Pai thing, however, and rented a scooter to moto to the local sights including "land split" farm (it's a sink hole), a coffee shop with admirably landscaped grounds, the big white Buddha, and Pai canyon, the hotspot for sunset.  We ended our days at Edible Jazz, a laid-back bar featuring nightly live music. Both Erica and I agreed the "rambling roots" will someday sell out the Fillmore, and we sat mere feet away from them at open mic night in Pai!